Wildflowers















Dress (on sale!) | Other denim dresses I'm loving here: 12345


I am going to be completely straightforward and honest with you because I need an outlet. 
I'll start by saying that I love my life. I am truly blessed and I know it. Having said that, the last few weeks have been very..."trying". I have put my trust in the Lord and that has been what has saved me from losing my mind but it has been difficult the last couple of weeks to keep it all together. If you could see my house right now, you would understand what my mind feels like. I am a fairly neat and organized person usually but the cleanliness/organization of my home is a direct reflection of my emotional health. Let's just say that you can barely see my bedroom floor and my bare feet pretty much stick to the wood floor when I walk across it. Usually not how my house looks but definitely how it will look when I am this overwhelmed. Even admitting that to anyone is a huge step for me as I absolutely HATE people seeing my house when it is messy. I have to be very intentional to not berate myself for not "being a better wife or mother" because I haven't kept the house picked up. If you knew just how crazy the last few weeks have been...there's no way the average wife and mother could have kept up with everything. I know that, but it is still hard to not judge myself. Today I have a list a mile long of things I need to get done but I'm just going to pull it all back a little and set aside some time to put my home back in order. When it is this unorganized, it carries over into every other aspect of my life which only hurts my mental and emotional health more and it turns into a vicious cycle. I feel God's grace today and I'm going to take this opportunity to do what I need to for me and my family. I always feel guilty when I have work to do and things I would like to do for others but I clean house. I think because I want a clean house it feels selfish, haha. I know it isn't though. At this point, it is crucial for my mind and spirit and important for my family that I take the time to do what I need for me. Once I can get everything organized and back on some semblance of a schedule, it just sets me up for being able to tackle the difficult things as they come. The difficult part is that it is nearly impossible to be truly "organized" when you are trying to move! haha. But, I will get things put together and cleaned and do the best I can. That's all anyone can do, their best. My kids are healthy and happy, even if their clothes don't match for a couple of days! I find it so interesting that I have no problem being gracious to others when I see them struggling and going through a difficult time but it is a hundred times harder to be that gracious with myself. God calls me good. He calls me beautiful and blessed. I know my identity in Him and I am going to choose to cling to that instead of stacking up what look like "failures". With that, I am going to get off of here and take the dog for a walk, followed by A LOT of laundry! haha. I think I'll envision wearing this lovely dress in a field of wildflowers while I clean. That's a pretty relaxing place to be!

"I can do all things through Messiah who gives me strength." ~ Philippians 4:13